not ten minutes ago i almost poured a teakettle full of boiling water all over myself. thought it would be cathartic! uhhhhhH
10 Aug 2013 / 1 note
Doesn’t like fireworks
i can’t find the right amount to care, i can’t figure it out. if you know the right amount to care and how to do it, you should tell me or at least give me some tips on how to find it, like a treasure map, and then i could dig up a chest on a beach somewhere that would have HAVING FEELINGS FOR DUMMIES or AN IDIOT’S GUIDE TO SENTIENCE inside of it instead of gold or whatever because functionality! that’s real treasure, worth more than a million trillion doubloons, as far as i’m concerned
i am having a fingernails issue, i am having a dirt issue, i am having a food issue, i am having a feelings issue, i am having a brains issue an ego issue a heart issue a guilt issue an anxiety issue a sleep issue a loneliness issue! life, man, you’re just a big issue, mega issue, let’s work on not being like that, except the only thing i know how to do is be paralyzed in bed on computer so help please h e l p
I dyed everything green and it’s supposed to be a warning to the world, a signal to stay away, stay away, I am envious as all hell, green with jealousy, beware beware beware! but no one’s gonna get it.
Another act of assertion too oblique, probably, to be considered real.
Feeling a little tender, today, a little sore around the edges. Rotting from the outside in instead of the usual inside out. The trees here are a little much for me, this morning, planted in severely straight lines from which not a single specimen strays. Perfect posture, too, these trees. Making me feel inadequate, a little too prone to entropy to be strictly excusable. A little too messy to pass. So: a picture of flowers. I can’t help it; I feel too affectionate towards their small unruliness not to give them this. In any case, the groundskeeper will likely hose them down with herbicide in the very near future, so why not?
4 Apr 2013 / 0 notes
highly likely that YOU are the biggest jerk you know
I was going to say that this bird and I are the only living beings in the Helsinki airport, but I am too uncomfortable with referring to myself as “living” to do that.
PS they give me an hour for lunch and today it was raining so I couldn’t spend 52 minutes very slowly eating my apple while threading my way through the massive wasteland of a parking lot like I’ve done for the past few days and in lieu of this ritual I hid in a different office’s bathroom and read.
I painted my nails because I started a temp job that is purportedly about data entry but is really about staring at my fingers all day long.
I like this polish because:
a) it is called “Lonesome Dove” and, like, is there any shade more appropriate for a Sad Girl Office Robot?
and b) it makes my nails look like they are made of gummy eraser.